Ready for My Close-up Mr. Demille – Tips on the Perfect Photo for Your Daddyhunt Profile

Whether you’re a Daddy exhibitionist trying to capture the attention of the men on Daddyhunt or a hunter looking to connect with the ideal Daddy, having a great public profile photo can help you grab the attention of all the great men on Daddyhunt.

The men on Daddyhunt do more than turn heads. They exemplify the real men with no attitude who make us the No.1 online community for older gay men and their admirers. The reality is that selecting your public profile photos is often easier said than done. And we all know that people usually message first and look at profile details later. So, what makes for a great profile pic?

Most surveys have indicated that showing your smile and being candid gets more attention that a posed photo. In other words, smile and be yourself (natural). But on the flip-side, photos with sunglasses, bad selfies or bathroom selfies with dirty mirrors are less likely to grab someone’s attention.

A picture says a thousand words. So, update your public profile photos, smile and turn some heads!

Daddy Dealbreakers

We’ve all got ’em. Whether it’s ear hair or other physical or personality attributes, dealbreakers are a necessary part of navigating the world of dating. But when should they come into play? Some of us have friends who date with Seinfeldian levels of dealbreakers and bail at the first sign of something they don’t like. Should we bail so easily? After all, everyone deserves a fair chance and even things that we think we might have a hardline on can shift when we allow ourselves to get to know someone. The question becomes, when you do have a hardline and you’re having a good time with someone, when is the right time to bring up potential roadblocks?

Honesty is great and severely needed in every stage of a relationship, but in many cases, timing is key. By definition, a dealbreaker requires calling the whole thing off. However, it’s never really that simple! For instance, what if the supposed dealbreaker is something that can be tweaked, changed, or brought to their attention? We’re not advocating trying to change someone, because in most cases you will fail, but what if communicating your views could help mitigate the dealbreaker in question?

In some cases, the relationship may be more important than what’s breaking the deal. We ask all these questions because there are times when being confident and swift in the choices that you make can help you cut out some of the BS inherent with dating. It can also make us miss out on something truly life changing when we’re quick to judge and decide (especially in the world of online dating). At the end of the day, which should win out?

It seems to boil down to having an open heart and mind or being strong-willed and focused. The former can leave you vulnerable and susceptible to hurt and the latter closed off for the sake of self-preservation. Finding a balance between the two seems like our best bet even if it’s hard to come by.

So, when it comes to dating what are some of your dealbreakers? And what has life experience taught you about being more flexible when getting to know someone?

Perfecting the Daddy Work-Life Balance

Many of us in the Daddyhunt community lead very active lives, and lots of us are striving for success in every aspect of our everyday existence but finding that the right work-life balance can get tricky. Some of us are focused on meeting the right guy to start a relationship. For others, meeting someone is just a flicker of a thought because work takes up all of your time. It’s not always easy to create a life where both work and relationships have equal footing.

This is especially true when you break things down by age bracket. Perhaps in your early 20s you partied hard and creating a successful career was something that you started in your 30s. Or maybe it’s the exact opposite and you were driven in your 20s and 30s to get to the top, only to find yourself in your 40s with a comfortable lifestyle and no one to share it with. Either way, finding the right mix of these crucial components is key!

We’d love to hear from you all on this one. How have you managed to achieve a healthy work-life balance? What advice can you give to your fellow Daddyhunt community members?

Not All Daddies Are The Same

Gay culture, not unlike other cultures, is often perceived to be all about stereotypes. This is never truer than in any of the ‘named’ cultures (Bear, Leather, S&M, etc.). The ‘Daddy/Hunter’ community is no different. When we hear perfectly attractive hunters bemoaning the fact they can’t find a Daddy to date because they aren’t… insert stereotypical requirement here: young, slender, smooth, tall, athletic, etc…, it’s incredibly frustrating.

Really, guys, Daddies don’t all expect, require, or desire the same things. All you need to do is spend 5 minutes perusing the Daddy profiles on Daddyhunt to see that. Daddies exist in all different shapes and sizes and have different taste and interests. You can find profiles of Daddies looking for masculine guys, tall guys, short guys, hairy guys, smooth guys, and so on and so forth.

Not every Daddy lives up to the presumed stereotype. Not all Daddies spend their time chronically in search of some ‘perfect’ guy who meets some idealized, unrealistic standard. Okay, we admit that Daddies do tend to prefer that the hunters they desire find older guys appealing, but then, who of us doesn’t want to be thought of as attractive?

Okay, stereotypes exist for a reason. Sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, people live up to one stereotype or another. Most people don’t. The trick is finding a way for the ‘right’ Daddy to meet the ‘right’ hunter. That is the beauty of online communities like Daddyhunt. Such venues are safe places where we can share information about who we are, what we seek, and what it is we have to offer, affording us unique opportunities to form connections with those with whom we have complimentary interests. So, buck up, guys, it has worked for many couples who have met on Daddyhunt, and it can work for you. Happy Hunting!

Dad Meet Daddy

Let’s face it, there’s still a stigma around May-December romances within both the gay and straight communities. Introducing your boyfriend or partner to the family or friends is never an easy situation regardless of age differences. Often, when there’s an age difference, the perception that one is using the other for youth, money, or any number of things comes into play, which is often the contrary.

For this reason, introducing an older or younger significant other to the family (or even to your friends) can be a bit of an awkward situation. So, the best thing you can do for your family and your boyfriend/partner/husband is to prep them ahead of time. Whether you have a judgey aunt or a disapproving father (Check-yes), meeting the fam (or friends) is always a production. The best advice is to prep both sides as much as you can before the actual introduction.

In most cases, though, if you’re genuinely happy, families AND friends can see that and any other factors that may come into play just wash away like water off a duck’s back. That’s, of course, a best case scenario, but as with everything else, being open and honest about the situation is the best way to go.

We’d love to hear your stories and advice on how best to approach the situation. What was your experience like the first time you brought home your older or younger boyfriend/partner and introduced him to your family or friends?

Gay Founding Fathers: Alan Turing

From e-mail to Amazon to XTube to reading the blog you’re on right now, computers and smartphones have become so essential to our day-to-day lives that it’s rather mind-boggling to imagine life without them. So, who exactly do we have to thank for this game-changing technology? Bill Gates? Good guess, but wrong! Steve Jobs? Think again. The actual man who was “highly influential” in the development of theoretical computer science is Alan Turing, who was not given the credit due to him in his country during his lifetime because of his homosexuality.

Born in London in 1912, Turing’s early years appeared to follow the standard narrative of the classic overachiever. He was an introvert with a chronic stuttering condition that often left him feeling self-conscious yet he was still academically driven. By the time he became a teenager, it was clear this smartypants was something special. His remarkable ability for picking up and deciphering advanced mathematical and scientific concepts (even without ever having formally studied them) attracted attention, and upon graduation, he enrolled at the prestigious King’s College at Cambridge University, where he gained first-class honors in mathematics.

Before he would take a byte out of history, Turing would have to help save it first. In 1939, with World War II in full swing, he returned to Britain to join the Code and Cypher School, whose main purpose was to decipher encrypted messages sent back and forth between the Nazis. Decoding these messages was extremely time-consuming, but Turing believed his “Turing Machine” could help with the task — IF he had the resources to actually build it. With the full support of Prime Minister Winston Churchill, the machine—now called the “Bombe” was soon a reality and became an essential tool for helping the Allies defeat the Nazi regime.

Ironically, as great as he was at cracking secrets for the British government, Turing did his best not to draw attention to one of his own — his homosexuality. While today’s Britain is considered progressive when it comes to homosexuality, this wasn’t the case in the 1950s. Sex between men, even in private, was a criminal act.

While working in Manchester, 39-year-old Turing met 19-year-old Arnold Murray (Go Daddy!), an unemployed local, outside a movie theatre in the winter of 1952. The two embarked on a clandestine affair, but following a burglary of Turing’s apartment by a friend of Murray’s, their relationship was brought to the attention of the police. Turing was promptly arrested, had his private life strewn across the front of newspapers, and amidst a paranoid atmosphere of Communist hysteria, had his security clearance revoked indefinitely.

While he was ultimately spared a prison sentence, there was a catch: he would have to undergo a government-imposed hormone treatment that would chemically castrate him and “cure” his homosexuality. His career ruined beyond repair and severely depressed, Turing committed suicide in 1953 by eating a cyanide-laced apple. He was just 41 years old.

Sixty years after his death, in December 2013, Turing received a royal pardon from Queen Elizabeth II, whose life on the throne began the same year Turing took his own. “Dr. Turing deserves to be remembered and recognized for his fantastic contribution to the war effort and his legacy to science,” said British Justice Secretary Chris Grayling. “A pardon from the Queen is a fitting tribute to an exceptional man.”

Want to know more about this remarkable Gay Founding Father? Pick up author David Leavitt’s critically acclaimed biography, “The Man Who Knew Too Much: Alan Turing and the Invention of the Computer”

Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy, A Intergenerational Relationship That Inspires Us

Life wasn’t always a cabaret for esteemed British novelist, Christopher Isherwood, whose semi-autobiographical tales of a closeted gay man living in pre-Nazi Germany were collected in the best-selling book The Berlin Stories, but that all changed when he met 18-year-old Don Bachardy on a Santa Monica beach in 1952. Despite their 30-year age difference — not to mention it being the era of McCarthyism, one of the most homophobic periods in American history — the pair began a high-profile love affair that would last more than three decades.

While their relationship, though open, was idyllic in many ways, with Isherwood helping his younger lover develop his affinity for drawing and painting and the couple frequently entertaining well-known artists, writers, and movie stars in their hillside Santa Monica home, it wasn’t always without its challenges.

At times the May-December dramas may have seemed like something out of a movie, and indeed, it became one — “Chris & Don: A Love Story,” a fantastic 2007 documentary that reveals how hard the couple worked to achieve their bliss, but achieve it, they did. Their intergenerational relationship withstood the passage of time. Ultimately, the two remained together for 33 years until Isherwood’s death in 1986.