We’ve all got ’em. Whether it’s ear hair or other physical or personality attributes, dealbreakers are a necessary part of navigating the world of dating. But when should they come into play? Some of us have friends who date with Seinfeldian levels of dealbreakers and bail at the first sign of something they don’t like. Should we bail so easily? After all, everyone deserves a fair chance and even things that we think we might have a hardline on can shift when we allow ourselves to get to know someone. The question becomes, when you do have a hardline and you’re having a good time with someone, when is the right time to bring up potential roadblocks?
Honesty is great and severely needed in every stage of a relationship, but in many cases, timing is key. By definition, a dealbreaker requires calling the whole thing off. However, it’s never really that simple! For instance, what if the supposed dealbreaker is something that can be tweaked, changed, or brought to their attention? We’re not advocating trying to change someone, because in most cases you will fail, but what if communicating your views could help mitigate the dealbreaker in question?
In some cases, the relationship may be more important than what’s breaking the deal. We ask all these questions because there are times when being confident and swift in the choices that you make can help you cut out some of the BS inherent with dating. It can also make us miss out on something truly life changing when we’re quick to judge and decide (especially in the world of online dating). At the end of the day, which should win out?
It seems to boil down to having an open heart and mind or being strong-willed and focused. The former can leave you vulnerable and susceptible to hurt and the latter closed off for the sake of self-preservation. Finding a balance between the two seems like our best bet even if it’s hard to come by.
So, when it comes to dating what are some of your dealbreakers? And what has life experience taught you about being more flexible when getting to know someone?