The only "code" worth adhering to is a code of self-respect, and respect for others. And I share basterd's concern re gay men & lesbians' motives in seeking "respectable family values". As sexual mavericks we maybe need to be looking at showing some leadership in functional relationships, rather than chasing what often doesn't even work out for heterosexuals.

It's a sociological truth that when folks move up the ladder they quickly piss on those who they deem to be the underclass. I support our rights to equality, but I condemn any self-loathing queer who would abuse those rights - or their self-imagined respectability - to further marginalize (and malign) brothers and sisters who don't have "acceptable" lifestyle and sex-style aspirations.

That's not even assimilationism - it's gutless pandering born out of self-loathing, and no harm will come out of reminding ass-licking queers that their turkey-baster brats and wedding rings aren't anything to be proud of if they're maintained at somebody else's expense.