You have said something that needs saying. As a formerly married man who entered the "gay world" several years ago, I have found this syndrome to be quite common. So many of us have divorced sex from emotion, and seem unable to reunite them. And so many of us are trying so hard to pretend this isn't so. Indeed, to say you want your sex with some connection is often to be dismissed as a hopelessly repressed prude. But the evidence is out there all around.