Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on April 14, 2009 - 16:25.
good discussion.
love happens between men of varying ages everyday. As a college professor (research, psychiatry), Columbia U alum/teaching, 55 years old, and as a NYC area resident, I run into younger men everyday. it is interesting to realize all of the crushes younger men have on me as I am easy to confide in. My issue with younger men is that it is all too easy for me to manipulative the seductiveness. There is a power differential that I dont feel like exploiting, so I do not get involved with men much younger than 30 years (at this time...lol).
My whole issue is how to respond to men in their 70s who routinely send me shouts online! Younger men are a breeze to deal with but as we live longer who thought of dating men in their 70s. I look to see their life views (no republicans of course), some geographic nogos..I have no interest in Florida, Georgia, Texas... I look for a joy of life! Some of the sexiest men I have chatted with online are studs in their late 60s!
all of these age issues are in constant flux of course. All of a sudden, I am over 50 which is in itself a whole other lens changer. Being over 50 years, I feel I have achieved longevity and not too concerned with so many of the usual stuff younger men are caught up in. I wear what I want, express my thoughts with a historical and intellectual certainty just from the experiential awareness of how society has changed. There is a whole gap that I feel ultimately with guys 20 or 30 years younger than me. I dont have that for men older than me. I generally find most of the men I like older than me are in long term relationships and I am ultimately not interested in just a casual sex thing.
I have been in love but i am also a survivor of the AIDS plague. Everyone of my buddies from the 1970s and most of my contemporaries from the 1980s died before the advent of the new meds in the 1990s. So I am just amazed that I am HIV negative and living with the memories of over 3000 buddies. My favorite men all died. I have never been entirely single, having a partner or then a regular date(s) my entire adult life.
I am a NYC flaneur so I dont stay home with a pet, my tv is broken, and I like being out of the house to socialize. I have always been involved in what's up at the time. In the 1970s, I was in NY, SF, Provincetown, a gogo boy and part of the whole gay revolution. Into the 1980s, I was a Saint/Garage/Palladium club goer; then spent most of my free time in Berlin, Amsterdam, Zurich and Paris as I had the friends to visit and money to travel often. in the 1990s, I was so involved in NYC life... working with the homeless, people with AIDS, and in my personal life, somedays up to 15 men would phone me in a day. It is in the last few years time to mostly teach/read/think and the realization that there is always another man (in the elevator, around the corner...) when I hear "too old" "or too young" or "not Black" or "not enough money for me". And that is what I generally tell men of every age who complain about rejection.
I am alive, engaged, and enjoying life's adventures! My favorite friends who changed our universe are all dead, young. Young men have a seductiveness but I have seen thousands burn out, go Republican, get wierd. These days I am beyond thrilled that we have a President Obama who will give gays a lot! So, if someone doesnt want to know about me.. who cares! I have a life is a needed mantra!
good discussion. love
good discussion.
love happens between men of varying ages everyday. As a college professor (research, psychiatry), Columbia U alum/teaching, 55 years old, and as a NYC area resident, I run into younger men everyday. it is interesting to realize all of the crushes younger men have on me as I am easy to confide in. My issue with younger men is that it is all too easy for me to manipulative the seductiveness. There is a power differential that I dont feel like exploiting, so I do not get involved with men much younger than 30 years (at this time...lol).
My whole issue is how to respond to men in their 70s who routinely send me shouts online! Younger men are a breeze to deal with but as we live longer who thought of dating men in their 70s. I look to see their life views (no republicans of course), some geographic nogos..I have no interest in Florida, Georgia, Texas... I look for a joy of life! Some of the sexiest men I have chatted with online are studs in their late 60s!
all of these age issues are in constant flux of course. All of a sudden, I am over 50 which is in itself a whole other lens changer. Being over 50 years, I feel I have achieved longevity and not too concerned with so many of the usual stuff younger men are caught up in. I wear what I want, express my thoughts with a historical and intellectual certainty just from the experiential awareness of how society has changed. There is a whole gap that I feel ultimately with guys 20 or 30 years younger than me. I dont have that for men older than me. I generally find most of the men I like older than me are in long term relationships and I am ultimately not interested in just a casual sex thing.
I have been in love but i am also a survivor of the AIDS plague. Everyone of my buddies from the 1970s and most of my contemporaries from the 1980s died before the advent of the new meds in the 1990s. So I am just amazed that I am HIV negative and living with the memories of over 3000 buddies. My favorite men all died. I have never been entirely single, having a partner or then a regular date(s) my entire adult life.
I am a NYC flaneur so I dont stay home with a pet, my tv is broken, and I like being out of the house to socialize. I have always been involved in what's up at the time. In the 1970s, I was in NY, SF, Provincetown, a gogo boy and part of the whole gay revolution. Into the 1980s, I was a Saint/Garage/Palladium club goer; then spent most of my free time in Berlin, Amsterdam, Zurich and Paris as I had the friends to visit and money to travel often. in the 1990s, I was so involved in NYC life... working with the homeless, people with AIDS, and in my personal life, somedays up to 15 men would phone me in a day. It is in the last few years time to mostly teach/read/think and the realization that there is always another man (in the elevator, around the corner...) when I hear "too old" "or too young" or "not Black" or "not enough money for me". And that is what I generally tell men of every age who complain about rejection.
I am alive, engaged, and enjoying life's adventures! My favorite friends who changed our universe are all dead, young. Young men have a seductiveness but I have seen thousands burn out, go Republican, get wierd. These days I am beyond thrilled that we have a President Obama who will give gays a lot! So, if someone doesnt want to know about me.. who cares! I have a life is a needed mantra!
hugs, peace, compassion