"I have certainly met some very kind and sweet total tops that are not this model of faux-macho obnoxiousness. So maybe there are just guys like that, and if people are happy with what they want and their partners are down with it as well, go wild"

That is me...happy with who I am. Some are tops, some are bottoms, some are versatile....they can't all be like you who is versatile...you have to accept people for who they are which is I think you are trying to say?