Submitted by Seamus (not verified) on January 26, 2009 - 00:29.
Kirk, you need to get a clue. Some of good advice in there, but the comments on therapists - whoa, dude, flat out irresponsible!
Did you notice that the Porn King never mentions any type of emotional connection to sex? Not even friendly or fuck buddies? Think that might have just a little bit to do with the 'problem'? Even a teeny, tiny bit?
All therapists are not interchangeable, and should be selected based on the things you are hoping to work on. Issues on sex? Don't opt for a therapist who specializes in attention deficit. There are lots of ways to find good, qualified therapists and to learn about their areas of expertise. Ask your doctor. Friends you trust. Check out the websites of groups like the National Association of Social Workers, American Psychological Association and the American Counseling Association. Look to specialty groups - in cases like this, try the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (www.aasect.org). Make sure the therapist is licensed and certified.
And gay men as sexually gifted? Get a reality check. Lots of gay men have created repression and denial as ways to cope in different parts of their lives. Dropping that baggage can take work (and, for the majority of folks, does not require a therapist to accomplish. Sad to say, we get caught in all the traps that straight and bi and asexual folks do. Tops, bottoms, butch, 'straight acting'... all labels that put in limits. Just because we like one thing more than another doesn't mean the rest should be off the menu. You may be past that, but don't assume that others have made the leap.
Fantasy is part of most sexual experience. Few of us remain totally focused on the person we are with, or what we are doing at the moment. The ability to use the fantasy is the key - I may think Michael T. Weiss is one of the hottest actors around, but it does not mean I have any real expectation of his showing up in my bedroom. But the idea of what he might join me in doing with the guy in front of me....
So, Daddyhunt, seek out someone who is more than a Dan Savage wannabe to do your advice column.
Kirk, you need to get a clue.
Kirk, you need to get a clue. Some of good advice in there, but the comments on therapists - whoa, dude, flat out irresponsible!
Did you notice that the Porn King never mentions any type of emotional connection to sex? Not even friendly or fuck buddies? Think that might have just a little bit to do with the 'problem'? Even a teeny, tiny bit?
All therapists are not interchangeable, and should be selected based on the things you are hoping to work on. Issues on sex? Don't opt for a therapist who specializes in attention deficit. There are lots of ways to find good, qualified therapists and to learn about their areas of expertise. Ask your doctor. Friends you trust. Check out the websites of groups like the National Association of Social Workers, American Psychological Association and the American Counseling Association. Look to specialty groups - in cases like this, try the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (www.aasect.org). Make sure the therapist is licensed and certified.
And gay men as sexually gifted? Get a reality check. Lots of gay men have created repression and denial as ways to cope in different parts of their lives. Dropping that baggage can take work (and, for the majority of folks, does not require a therapist to accomplish. Sad to say, we get caught in all the traps that straight and bi and asexual folks do. Tops, bottoms, butch, 'straight acting'... all labels that put in limits. Just because we like one thing more than another doesn't mean the rest should be off the menu. You may be past that, but don't assume that others have made the leap.
Fantasy is part of most sexual experience. Few of us remain totally focused on the person we are with, or what we are doing at the moment. The ability to use the fantasy is the key - I may think Michael T. Weiss is one of the hottest actors around, but it does not mean I have any real expectation of his showing up in my bedroom. But the idea of what he might join me in doing with the guy in front of me....
So, Daddyhunt, seek out someone who is more than a Dan Savage wannabe to do your advice column.