Submitted by ED (not verified) on January 20, 2009 - 13:34.
That is a really terrific exchange that I can identify with, from both perspectives. I too have had times when I've used fantasy and porn to get off, using my partner, maybe one that I settled for at the end of a bar night and not quite my type, as a physical placeholder for me to mentally attach a 19 year old blond tight end to. Poppers are porns partner in crime, they take my mind to that detached place where the john actually turns into the marine or the police officer for that 10 to 15 seconds, long enough to come. I agree that the best sex is where you connect totally with your partner, and make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Self esteem is definitely what turns guys on, so the more you love yourself, the more others will love you. Sometimes without taking to the level of clinical disorder, as talked about in the excellent response above, it is helpful to "fake it till you make it" and act confident about yourself, in a humble and modest way. Guys never know you are faking your confidence. Those techniques have gotten me pretty far with my average sized body and penis. I'm not saying to act like an arrogant dick, thats a big turn off especially people who have self esteem.
That is a really terrific
That is a really terrific exchange that I can identify with, from both perspectives. I too have had times when I've used fantasy and porn to get off, using my partner, maybe one that I settled for at the end of a bar night and not quite my type, as a physical placeholder for me to mentally attach a 19 year old blond tight end to. Poppers are porns partner in crime, they take my mind to that detached place where the john actually turns into the marine or the police officer for that 10 to 15 seconds, long enough to come. I agree that the best sex is where you connect totally with your partner, and make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Self esteem is definitely what turns guys on, so the more you love yourself, the more others will love you. Sometimes without taking to the level of clinical disorder, as talked about in the excellent response above, it is helpful to "fake it till you make it" and act confident about yourself, in a humble and modest way. Guys never know you are faking your confidence. Those techniques have gotten me pretty far with my average sized body and penis. I'm not saying to act like an arrogant dick, thats a big turn off especially people who have self esteem.