God what a nightmare. I am SOOOOO tired of hearing complaints about life from poor poor people that do drugs. Your number one problem is that you do drugs. I'm sorry, I'm very very judgemental here - but folks that need to do drugs are loosers. Nothing, nothing one can say to me will change my mind. Drug use is a form of depression - you are not happy with life as it is - so you must 'enhance' it somehow to feel good. Get help right now!! Plain and simple. You need help with your life depression. You have no business being in a relationship while being a drug abuser ( and with another drug addicted guy too! - what a complete mess!) I wish you the best of luck on your path to a happy and content life.

Bill463 is exactly right. You love your drugs and your drama. This guy provided what you wanted. Time to move on and find your next disaster.

The hard part of course is making the change. Good luck to you in that.

having been there doing crystal, g and everything else under the sun for over 5 years i have to say ... really think about where these emotions are coming from. i was certainly a different person back then, things that were life-shattering are minor in retrospect. and the more you party, the more you stay in that mindset. his aggression, both of your psychological dependence, his emotional breakdowns, and the feeling that all of this brought you closer - sorry, that's the drugs. i totally agree with the other guys, get clean, and a lot of this misery will go away.

I'm not gonna call you an addict (I'm a recovering one, but that's me, not you), but here's the deal with using drugs to enhance sexual experience: It works TOO well. And if something works THAT well, it quickly becomes a necessary part of the experience. After that the sex starts to be about the drugs as much as about the sex, and the partner(s) participation starts to become less and less important. Why not just skip the sex and focus on the drugs?
That's what happened to me, and I've seen it so many times with other people. Sex on drugs always becomes about the drugs.
Also, this "nicest" guy is using you (consciously or not), and you're using him. Sounds like something you need to really look at.

I'm really kind of shocked at the first two responses. First off, Ben deserves our respect and support for reaching out honestly for help from others in his community. You have no right to judge or scorn him. You only make yourself part of the problem and not the solution.

People who are caught up in drug abuse are still humans deserving our respect and care. I've witnessed a lot of drug abuse in my time - and it's NEVER about the drugs. Drug abuse is a symptom of another problem, never the problem itself.

Yes, Tina is a gross and disgusting thing. Yes we should want it out of our communities. But that will never ever be accomplished by ostracizing our brothers and sisters who are lost in its grip. They need help, they need love, and they need healing most of all. Not hatred, anger, disdain, scorn, or any of the other things i felt seething out of the first two responses here.

Ben, learn the difference between what makes you happy and what gives you pleasure. Learn to work for what makes you happy. Learn to weed out the things that make you unhappy in your life. Learn to turn your attention away from fleeting pleasures that don't feed your happiness. But most of all learn to find others who can feed your happiness as well. And those who aren't capable of it need to be removed from your life. You can't support someone who isn't giving you back the same beautiful loving energy that you obviously pour out freely for others. And you can't wait for them to grow up to that phase, and you can't help them get there. It's unfortunately a part of the journey we have to all make alone before we can find someone to walk with us.

You are beautiful. Now dig up the strength and the energy that you turn to others and bathe yourself in it. You deserve that love. You deserve that power. When you make that change, when you walk down the street glowing in your own power, then others will seek you out to share in it. I wish you the best. Take good care of yourself first, get well, and then share that healing with the world.

my gawddddddddddd what a freaking train wreck gay men are! What da hell is wrong with you people?!?!?!

Thank gawwwwwddddddd for my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!

I like what, PJ, had to say most of all, I've seen many friends and associates live the life-style, where ever I was; in Minn-Mpls, NYC, now Miami/FT. Laud.

I enjoy what I call, 'adult candies' since my teenage yrs.,but there's certain ones I won't touch...just being honest.

I think it's a real struggle for people with "addictive traits" anyway; for myself, I have none. If I do it's my every morning ritual; double shot of expresso while enjoying the sunrise, listening to the birds, thinking, stretching, silence.

Self preservation; a sence of spirituality, something that you'd never-ever betray within yourself, set a goal of sorts, an optimal level of being, physically/mentally/spiritually you
would want to reach and maintain.

...Maybe your not the only one in your group, who'd like to begin again, you'd be great support for each other!

I left my lover in 03', left the whole damn State, lol, ...he's an alchoholic, since 17yrs old. I didn't know it until I moved in with him for 10 1/2 months and he was under house arrest, it was his second DWI!

Your right, Justin, there are some really screwed up gay folks, but people generally, really.
If you need a crutch in life, it's not drugs bottom line!

Ancient peoples used drugs for spiritual-inlightening-creativity, ritual-reasons-of-rights, socializing, ect., some were/are quite toxic, others more mild and not harmful, so all drugs are not bad, but rather the disfuctional aspects of the self...

In that respect, America isn't a good place for drug usage, it's a difference of cultures, there's bound to be horrible outcomes. Many people are genetically predisposed even, some can handle mild usage, some can't handle anything.

The guys who created the "PC" for example, they were hippies, lol, but I'm no advocate of drugs either, there is a better, "origins in drug use" is all I'm saying. If they don't work for you don't do any, even if it's just, "drinking," alchohol, and anything else that is "mood altering" that you put in your body is a drug, technically.

Dear conservative, hard-liner,

I find your blithe, though brittle "just say no"approach to drug use offensive. If I were to take a magnifying glass to your life, I'll bet I'd find something just as ugly, disgusting and destructive in your behaviours. Tough love ain't love. It's impatience and intollerance tarted up with a bit of self righteousness.

The attitude that places you above us all means you will never know what it's like to struggle, to change and to experience the happiness that comes with growing, overcoming and progressing. Seems to me, your happiness rest solely on the tsk-tsk crumbling of your fellow man.

Trade that stone in for a real heart someday.

Best wishes.

Drugs are not the entire issue here. Another, and just as important, is Ben's inability to allow someone to take care for him. He is a care giver, but seeks relationships that are his giving care, not accepting care. And, for those of us who give of ourselves, the most difficult skill is to be open and willing to accept love and care from another. Mutual drug use is a successful strategy to build a relationship...a distructive one, but a relationship none-the-less. Being willing and open to both giving and receiving care and love is another way to build a relationship...although a much more difficult tactic. Build a solid relationship on mutual care and the drugs become meaningless.

I agree fully with the wisdom and compaasion of Kirk's respoinse. He's right on trrack. There is someone for everyone, in fact, most likely TWO or more more each of us.... no need to waste our percious and limited lives with those who apparently don't value us.
Kudos to Kirk!

Backyard Gardener, bullseye! That was powerful and so true, when you have no idea, what it's like to honestly struggle...I don't think that can be said enough of a lot of human situations actually. Righteousness is the result of struggle as it applies (having been there, done that).

Otherwise, you have no idea of what your talking about.

Drug are not the only issue here, so true! There's the inner issues with the self...

Having a very difficult time deciding which one is the bigger loser. Can't imagine either one being capable of sustaining a real relationship.

The only person the poster needs to be spending quality time with is a good therapist.

But due to some medical emergencies of one of us before the trip we have had to cancel it.
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He is a drug user and what does he expect from another drug addict? The subject of the post itself does not make any sense. Whats with this uncut and uncleanliness. Will he suck a cut guy who hasn't showered in days?? You have a bigger problem in hand than a uncut boy friend!!

How anti-Gentile and Semitic of you. And drug abuser. END MALE GENITAL MUTILATION. It's tribal barbarism has no place in a civilized society. And Tina users are losers.

Gays are the last people in the world who can speak against intolerance when they are judging others. How are we supposed to tell others to have an open-mind when those who post are keeping theirs closed. It seems to me that the writer has more issues than the drugs. Drugs are probably used as an escape from those. Watch an episode of INTERVENTION to get better educated. those of you who are getting down on crystal users think nothing of going to a bar and getting drunk. Those in glass houses...

Kevstar69,

I'm not opposed to recreational drugs at all. I am opposed to the use of the drugs used in this case, as Tina is a toxic waste, an EPA contamination site, and so physically, emotionally, and psychologically addictive, it is worse than heroin, and worse than GHB. Responsible recreational drug use checks the FACTS and reduce the SELF-DESTRUCTION to OURSELVES.

EXACTLY. Check the website Hedonistic Imperative for the non-toxic recreational drugs. Just because their illegal does not mean they are unsafe. But meth, heroin, and GHB are INSANE. Killing yourself to get laid is lame.

http://www.hedweb.com/hedab.htm

Ben, I had trouble getting passed the first paragraph. A man who won't let you express your sensual interest by paying attention to his cock has an issue. Seeing as you state you are a massage therapist by profession, I highly doubt you didn't know how to treat that cock gently. Freud would have a small festival of thought on why this uncut male didn't want his cock fondled.

I will say to you as a gay man who has been involved with boyfriends who use drugs........if that takes center stage moreso than a good old heart to heart/ face to face/ eye to eye talk, then it's not working. Your choice to use drugs is yours. Why such hard core ones? Would I be wrong in guessing that mr uncut brought them into the mix? The mindset of a massage therapist, i.e, medical, therapeutic, healing, betterment....etc., doesn't seem to correlate with harsh drug use.
Did they make you feel better or just make you feel...... less?

Best of luck to you, and I mean that.
The uncut guy.......don't even look back. Move forward. Happiness that way......lies. See ya.

Uncut is better by far, I have seen more cut, mutilated cocks than I care to mention, sadly most done in the name of either religion or the American obsession with cleanliness.
One assumes that the parents of these poor scarred baby boys assume that they will never know how to wash properly, plus the membrane on the glans (it is NOT skin), becomes up to 30 times thicker after circumcision ... there goes your sensitivity.
Of course there is a place for circumcision when the foreskin is either attached or hyperspadia is involved .. otherwise, leave the penis in it's natural state.
These days, a lot of Doctors even consider the glans as an internal organ. For any readers who wish to disgree with the medical facts stated above, please don't contradict, I am a member of the medical profession and have great knowledge on this subject, hower your personal preferences are your right.

When Wladimir Klitschko steps into the ring against Ruslan Chagaev at Veltins Arena in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday, it will be in front of the largest boxing audience in Germany since Max Schmeling fought in the 1930s.

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Sen. John Kerry has made it in politics. Now he wants to be a movie producer.

[b]This thread has
Friends have been asking for my thoughts on how Air France 447 crashed. Without the flight recorder and cockpit voice recorder it will be tough to know. Heres a guess..it was the middle of the night and bumpy; the airplane is on autopilot, just like any other airliner in cruise flightsome of the airspeed and

What silly comments are posted here! Of course the writer's (Ben's) drug use is a major issue. The larger problem, however, is co-dependency, drug use being one of the most obvious (and destructive) features of that larger problem. Fact is, virtually everything the writer identified indicates his gravitation toward a man (and men?) absolutely not right for him: his phobia for foreskin, the emotional unavailability of his partner, the exploitative economic dependency, the passive-aggressive jibes and negative comments, uncommunicativeness, and of course the drug abuse. Even his own need to inflict tickling on someone who hates it. If this drug use is still a part of the writer's M.O., then he should definitely seek immediate help for it. But whether it is or not, there remains the issue of why did he choose someone who is no good for him in every way. If this relationship was a unique experience, then chalk it up to just that, learn the many lessons to be had from it, be glad that it lasted only two months, and move on; but don't do it again! My guess, though is that anyone who takes on someone with so many incompatibilities and issues has a lot of their own. The author should seriously consider some professional guidance in understanding this experience and why he constructed it (it that two...), at least for a while as he reflects on it. It will help keep him from merely rationalizing rather than understanding this mistake. Otherwise, I'd bet money that he will repeat it sooner or later, even if in a different way. Meanwhile, I'd pay no attention to the facile soap-box preaching about drugs and one-dimensional catch-all semi-solutions that some folks posted here.

This is a rather ... intriguing blog. I had no idea what "Tina" is. This is an international website, and I'm not in the US. (Although drug use is obviously an international issue.) Meanwhile, what's "GHB"? Sorry to be so ill-informed. I feel I have discovered a lot about drug use - and the feelings it arouses. But I am totally puzzled by some of the rather bizarre posts. What on earth does "anti-Gentile" and "Semitic" have to do with it, for instance - how did Jews come into the picture? And then suddenly we have people writing about Senator John Kerry, boxing in Germany, and the Air France plane which crashed in the south Atlantic... As I said, intriguing blog, some good answers and sound advice for Ben, plus some rather aerated interventions which seem to have arrived here from Somewhere Else.

And it's Bullwinkle by a nose a really big nose at Saratoga Race Course. A large moose wandered onto the grounds of the historic upstate New York racetrack where the likes of Man o' War and Secretariat have run. Police said the moose was first reported walking through the city's downtown business district shortly before 4 a.m. Monday.

I'm a single female traveller and heading to Costa Rica in November...i'm spending a couple of nights in San Jose before heading out to the Caribbean Coast, i'm just after some advice on accommodation in San Jose - i don't really know much about the city at all, i'd like to be quite central, not too expensive and somewhere where i can possibly meet similar single travellers etc.

Would you believe the size of these? Asian girls and I know Asian girls I can tell ya do not have tits this size without help. Anyway the sort of blown-up-like-a-balloon shape is a give away these are not jigglers, more like basket balls to the feel I bet ya
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Back home after a few days of work abroad, Cynthia has a taste of a well-deserved rest. As soon as she comes out of the shower, she lets her fingers explore her intimacy and her mind wander to relax herself completely. She joins then a very well-hung man with a proudly erected manhood, ready to

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Plenty of wonderfully simple, geometric work from Berlins Cristobal Schmal. And hes on Flickr, too.(via Meathaus
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I am planning to go Peru in July for two weeks, so I am looking for people to travel?

One of the best books I picked up at MoCCA was NACHTDIEREN (Night Animals) - a beautiful and ribald graphic novella by Brecht Evans. Looks like Night Animals has been picked up by Top Shelf and will be released later this year. Drawn & Quarterly will also be publishing Evans other book, The Wrong

Gday
Slutty Black Teen gets fucked and covered with hot cum!
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So far the only viable options for getting there are on the train or on the bus. Both methods have significant waits somewhere along the line and both will take a LONG time!

NOTE: THIS IS WRONG. I later came across troubles with this approach. As I had a suspicion, all DLL versions have to be the same. This solution posted here is no longer relevant. I do, however, have a solution, which I will post shortly.UPDATE: Ive posted an updated solution.(There is a solution here, skip down

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Animation projects, being what they are, rarely manage to look better than the weakest links in the production staff and executives. The show still aimed higher than most ever had before, and higher than almost anything since. From my time in the industry, it's something of an impossible miracle when a project DOES come through as beautiful and "good" from beginning to end. It's nearly impossible to manage the hundreds/thousands of people necessary/available who work on any given animation project.

Thank you.
What is a recurring male fantasy? If you are the normal pervert, the normal heterosexual pervert you probably dream of two beautiful women cavorting together and with you. Nothing gets a man harder than watching two women having sex. To have both turn their attention to him is the fantasy becoming reality. Check out this

Happy Valentines, babe! I wanted this to be a very special date, so I brought my pinkest lingerie and my pinkest vibrating cock toy to dip into my pink pussy! Why dont you pull up a chair for a toys eye view of a couple of intense Elli Orgasms and a ton of sexy fun!?*This
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I love it when a girl with thick thighs wears fishnet stockings. It makes her booty stand out! This girl is no exception. Chec out her pics!

I am travelling through Peru - Colombia - Brazil in November 2010